I Wish I Could Carry This for You

Dear, 

Seeing you in pain breaks something in me. When I flew in and saw you so tired, limping, carrying the weight of this loss. I felt this deep, aching helplessness. I wanted to take it all away, to hold your sorrow and make it lighter. But I couldn’t. And that made me feel useless. 

And then, even in the middle of your own grief, you still felt bad that you couldn’t accompany me. That made my heart ache even more. You’re the one who’s hurting, and yet you’re still thinking about me. It made me feel even worse because I don’t want you to carry anything more than you already are.

I know I can’t bring your sister back. I can’t undo the pain or the exhaustion or the injury. But I’m here. Not because I have the right words or the perfect solution but because I love you. And I want to walk beside you through this, even if all I can do is sit in the silence with you, or hold your hand when the tears come.

You’re not alone. I see your strength, even in your sadness. And I’ll be here, for as long as you need me, in whatever way you need me. I just want you to know that your pain matters to me. You matter to me. You're important to me laopo. 

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