Life

These past seven weeks have been one of the hardest times of my life—for me and for my laopo. I’ve been overwhelmed with stress, confused about what’s right and what’s wrong. The values I grew up with, the things my family taught me—I always believed they were right. But now, I see that what I thought was keeping peace may have hurt the person I love most. To her, not sharing everything feels like lying. And in her eyes, I became someone I never wanted to be—an actor, a liar. That cuts deeper than I can explain. It feels like life is making a joke out of me. I wish I could just be with my babies again, where things were simpler and filled with pure love. But I’m here instead, exhausted—physically, emotionally, spiritually. Even my close friends don’t seem to understand. My kor tells me I shouldn’t make things worse by trying to explain myself—that I act like a hero when I should just stay quiet. Maybe he’s right. Maybe building up my wall again is the only way to survive. But it h...

Yesterday, I lost someone incredibly dear to me. We had a terrible argument, and in the aftermath, she made the painful decision to walk away. She is a kind, loving woman who gave me her all. She treated me with a warmth and care I never deserved to take for granted. And yet… I did. I was the one who hurt her. I was the one who couldn’t hold it together when it mattered most. The truth is, she deserves someone better—someone who won’t make her feel small in the middle of a storm. Now, all I have is this ache. The silence she left behind is louder than any fight we’ve ever had.

Today has been an incredibly tiring and stressful day. It felt like everything came at me all at once, and managing the multitude of tasks and responsibilities was overwhelming. Despite the challenges, I pushed through and did my best to handle each situation with care and diligence. As the day draws to a close, I find myself hopeful that tomorrow will bring a fresh start and a more manageable pace. I’m determined to approach the new day with a positive mindset and a renewed sense of energy. Reflecting on today’s events, I realize the importance of taking a moment to breathe and prioritize self-care amidst the chaos. With this in mind, I look forward to a more balanced and productive day tomorrow.

Tonight, as I sit quietly, I find my thoughts consumed by her presence in my life. It's remarkable how, whenever we talk, my mind feels so serene, as though the chaos of the world fades away in her company. There's a peace she brings that I can't quite explain, but it's comforting, like being wrapped in a gentle embrace. Sometimes, without warning, my mind drifts to her—her smile, her words, the way she makes me feel understood and at ease. It's as though she has woven herself into my thoughts, effortlessly becoming part of the fabric of my days. I wonder what this means, this tranquility I find with her. Is it her kindness, her warmth, or something more profound? All I know is that these moments, these thoughts, are something I treasure deeply. Am I really love her?